Over the course of my career, I have held many roles within many organizations. In some roles I led the organization, others I was an executive and yet others I was part of a team. Work-life balace is close to my heart as I learned some valuable lessons over the course of my career in this specific area and want to share some common myths.
I realize there are lots of factors that make up “work-life balance” and it continues to be a relevant conversation for may employees.
During the recent covid era we were fortunate, through necessity to work most of the time from home. I’m not advocating only in the office or only from home, however I really do think that companies have an obligation around a flexible work schedule without being too heavy handed and demanding everyone be back in the office five-days per week.
In addition to this as a backdrop there are three-myths that I want to share:
Myth 1: Hours worked equals productivity
When we work longer, in some ways we feel as though we’re contributing more or adding greater value. However, if you take away the countless emails, often-pointless meetings, and other daily distractions and get to the focused time we generally don’t need to be working long hours to provide your best value, in fact I would contend we should be working less but in a more focus and less distracted environment. This is reinforced by our leaders who role model this type of behaviour and which transfers the feeling of obligation and expectations to their teams.
No one wins in this situation.
Myth 2: We need to respond to everything ASAP
Prior to technology taking over our lives, we were diligent for the most part and responded to notes and phone calls as they came to us, although in most cases this was confined to your Monday – Friday 9-5 type of environment.
However, in today’s climate we are always connected and seemingly available. This creates added stress that we take home at night and over the weekends where it seems the norm to respond to all request’s day or night irrespective… Unfortunately, this is also being constantly reinforced by our corporate culture of “constantly having to prove you’re a team player” by always being available.
Personally, I think it’s important to set boundaries especially with your boss and team. So, unless the world is ending don’t expect me to get back to you until the next business day.
Myth 3: Employers control work-life balance
Organizations tout that they support work-life balance, yet you’re constantly set up to choose between you and them. What tends to happen is that we don’t advocate on our own behalf to stand our ground and say enough is enough. We feel either unable or unwilling to have an honest and frank discussion with our manager or supervisor about setting expectations and boundaries to ensure everyone is on the same page.
The reality is that the only person who controls work-life balance is you. You also require a receptive organization to recognize our personal needs while still getting the job done. If this aspect isn’t there then it may be time to sharpen up your resume…
My personal realization that I had gotten my work-life balance completely wrong came to a head upon hearing that I had been promoted to Partner with Accenture back in 2010. After four years of doing everything humanly possible I had finally made it; after hearing the news I desperately wanted to be happy and bask in my achievement but all I felt was complete emptiness.
This wasn’t them; this was all me. I had driven toward my goal with a bloody mindedness that you rarely witness, but along the way I had lost my ability to say no and set boundaries.
I had ditched the work-life balance mantra long ago to achieve my goals, but at what cost?
After the literally thousands of hours of work – day and night over that four-year span, the million air-miles, and close to 700 nights in hotels and that’s before the guilt of being the constantly absent parent I had finally gotten what I striven for.
I felt incredibly selfish but worse than that I had convinced myself, and all of those around me including those that looked up to me that I had perfected the whole work-life balance thingy. Even to a blind man I was completely wrong headed on this. However, I had convinced myself otherwise and stuck to the mantra of “you can have it all if you’re willing to work for it”.
Clearly, I had gotten it all wrong and decided then and there that things needed to change, and that I needed to take control and set new boundaries.
Not long after my promotion Accenture asked me to take a role in Calgary (a four-hour flight each way) from Toronto, again taking me away from my kids. I declined to take the role.
They told me that I had no choice but to go take on this new role. My response was “I think we need a different conversation.” I had finally found my voice…
My final word of advice:
One size does not fit all and so finding the right mix and balance is a very personal thing, and not a formula or a mandate. You need to define what things are important to you in life and strive to include those things no matter what. Constantly monitoring and reevaluating this is important as your life evolves and changes, and so it’s not a one-time thing.
The most important thing is to keep the lines of communication open with your manager / supervisor to ensure everyone has the same expectations as your life evolves and changes.
Being your own best advocate and creating the work-life balance that is best for you is the most important thing you can do for yourself.
Until next week.
Ciao!