I’m often asked if I’m afraid of putting myself “out there” in my weekly essay. Maybe I’m too naïve to worry or as I’ve said in the past, I’ve gotten past worrying about what other people think of me…
I don’t believe its arrogant to not worry about what others think of me, but I realize that I’m opening myself up every time I publish an essay. I’ve found that the only way to really connect with my audience, is to be real and authentic and not hold back because my fear of what others may or may not think of me.
It comes with the territory – I can’t be afraid to express myself in my own way and put myself out there. Admittedly, I wear my emotions on my sleeve for the most part – right there for everyone to see. I don’t try and hide the fact that I am this way, it’s who I am… it what makes me – me.
Some may see this as a sign of weakness, but I believe it’s a sign of strength.
I suppose I’ve always been a sensitive person, and so I’ve always felt my emotions quite strongly, and hence they are often lurking just under the surface, sometimes ready to spring out whether I like it or not. I’ve noticed this more over time, but the big change occurred when I first became a dad.
The interesting thing is that Zach is now 27 and Sam 25, but my emotions have not abated one little bit since they were babes in my arms.
Initially I found it strange that my emotions had surfaced so strongly when they were born, especially given that I didn’t have any role models with regard to showing emotions during my formative years, nor was it particularly acceptable in our family.
I’m unsure why any form of emotional display was frowned upon, perhaps it was a hangover from my parent’s upbringings…
I only saw my father show any external emotions once in my life and that was at my mother’s funeral when he cried. Part of it is definitely the Australian male culture – no question, but I think it was his upbringing and his experience that would never allow him to be open enough and share them, and I would surmise his fear of them.
I believe it’s important to embrace your emotions and irrespective of what anyone else may think or say.
I embrace the belief that real connections are intertwined with making yourself vulnerable, putting yourself out there not once or twice but all the time. This willingness to be authentic and genuine and not afraid of your imperfections, as scary as you may think those are, is, I believe the purest form of personal courage.
Demonstrating your compassion and kindness, firstly for yourself but then for those around you is a powerful quality that is transparent to everyone.
When you put yourself out there, you’ll find that there will be some that join you and celebrate with you, while others may be afraid of their emotions and tend to pull back and shy away.
The beauty is that we all get to choose the level of emotional comfort we’re willing to accept and sometimes go beyond. We all have a line that we draw when it becomes just too much.
The path that I’ve chosen, or should I more accurately say, the path that’s chosen me can be overwhelming for some people, and so I totally get the fact that it’s not for everybody.
Although I personally believe it’s a timing thing more than anything else, because inevitably we all ask ourselves the same three big questions in life. It may not be today, nor tomorrow, but I guarantee you will ask them at some point and hopefully before your life has passed you by.
I’m sure you’re curious…. take an emotion step back and answer these questions with brutal honesty.
- Am I feeling connected to my life – or simply going through the motions, feeling numb or overwhelmed?
- Am I spending quality time with those that I love and care about?
- Am I feeling fulfilled and actively pursuing the things that I’m passionate about in my life or am I stuck doing things that I have to survive?
There is nothing to be gained by fudging or sugar coating your responses or placing caveats on them. If you answered “no” to any of these questions, then maybe it’s time to reevaluate where you are in your life, check in on your emotional state and make some hard decisions.
There was a time in my life when my answers to these questions was a resounding no. It’s not the questions that you ask yourself, but what are you going to do about them that is the question.
Sure, you can keep doing what you’re doing but nothing will change, and you’ll continue on your current path, but if you really want to begin living a different form of existence than you need to reevaluate every aspect of your life and put yourself out there.
It takes courage to make real change, but I know from personal experience that you can do it. Real change can only happen with you.
Being a role model for my kids has always been very important to me, they get to see me pursue my passions and dreams and create the life that I want – every day, but more importantly they see me take action to create the life I’ve always wanted.
This is my real gift to them…
Food for thought.
Until next week.
Ciao!