Worthy?

Do you feel worthy? Not only worthy of the life you’ve created, but also worthy of love, of contentment, and peace?

For much of my life I’ve never felt as though I was enough, which triggered deep feelings of my worthiness…

It’s taken a considerable amount of time and effort to evolve my mindset and acceptance of who I am into a positive light, one that allows me to see me for who I am and all that I am.  This can be difficult if you were brought up in a household where you never felt enough.

Unfortunately, those feelings have a long and lasting grasp of who you believe you are and what you are indeed worthy of in life.

What I realized during my journey of self-reflection and self-discovery that any mindset change must begin with you.

I had to understand that what was said and done in the past, was just that – in the past.   It had no bearing on how I felt or indeed how I wanted to shape my feelings and thoughts moving forward.  Ultimately, I was in control of my mindset.

Acceptance of self is the most critical aspect of this journey.  Understanding who you are, with all of your intricacies and foibles is a good start, but true understanding comes with the acceptance of these things and how you embrace them in your day-to-day life.

This combined with your mindset change the game in so many ways.

Remember, you get to choose how you feel about different aspects of self including worthiness and being enough even when others may not see it. Being confident enough to believe in yourself and your path forward is the key.

Only you can dictate on any given day what is important to you, including the deep-seated feelings about self.

Many of us still believe that worthiness is, in some way tied to external achievements in life – wealth, career success, status, amount of money earned or social approval.

I for one was trapped in this false narrative during my corporate years, and it was only when I distanced myself from titles, status that I saw it for what it was.

Sure, you can go after all of those things, but the flip side is that it also brings about anxiety and deep feelings of shame if you can’t always achieve each of these things.

A great example was when I made partner at Accenture.  For four long years I pushed myself to the absolute limit and worked incredibly long hours, flying 10-hours per week and doing all the things necessary to be promoted.

I had essentially tricked myself into believing that if I could make partner that life would somehow be better, that those around me would be proud of my accomplishment and finally be worthy of love.

In actual fact, nothing could be farther from the truth.  I came away with an emptiness so deep and profound that triggered a host of events in my life that changed everything.   Only in retrospect did I realize that I had been on a fool’s errand…

If I didn’t feel worthy before my push for partner, then me achieving that didn’t change anything and in particular how I felt deep down about myself.  The worst part was that I felt like I had tricked myself…

It was time for a deep and lasting change in the way I felt about myself and that if I didn’t love myself then I had no starting point.  I needed to treat myself with more love and affection and feel worthy of this self-care.

The concept of acceptance began with me.

Once I was able to see this truth then I slowly began the journey of self-love and care.  As I progressed it became easier to forgive myself if I made a mistake or changed my mind.  It was okay to reevaluate and allow myself to change thoughts and feelings as I went while staying aligned to my beliefs and values.

There will always be times when your mindset is tested to the “n-th” degree but understanding that even these moments are all part of life and that they won’t change the way you view yourself and the world around you.

LIfe isn’t a straight line and as much as you’d like to control every aspect, it’s a lifelong commitment to keeping a positive and loving mindset with everything that you do and just being you.

The feelings of being worthy are driven from within not by some extrinsic source.  You and you alone hold the key to your personal contentment and indeed success in life.

Food for thought…

Until next week.

Ciao