The lost art of patience…

Patience is a virtue as the old parable goes, but given the environment in which we now live – have we lost the art of patience?

Perhaps it’s the age we’re in where everything has to be immediate, and so I feel like we’ve lost touch with this important aspect of life.

There’s no question that if we are made to wait, even for the slightest amount of time we lose our patience.  More so if we feel like we’re being inconvenienced and made to wait we tend to get antsy and frustrated.

Whether it be a restaurant, checking out at a supermarket, buying a coffee…  you name it.

Strangely, we’ve all been there.

What has changed are our expectations around immediacy.

Given the innovations in technology we now have everything at our fingertips via our mobile phones 24×7.  Clearly, this has added a significant layer of stress to our lives, but also an elevated expectation in terms of time and availability.

Many might think that social media is the culprit, however technology is just an enabler so what has really changed?

It’s our mindset…

Our ability to literally do anything at any time continues to reinforce the idea that if our needs aren’t met almost instantaneously then we’re somehow behind, or that we’re being taken advantage of.

Speed and immediacy are the currency of the world in which we now live.  For my kids, as for yours this is the norm.

It certainly has become more difficult to translate the importance of patience when literally everything is in the here and now.

From my perspective there are some really important aspects and benefits of developing your patience.

Firstly, when making decisions.  It’s important to be able to slow down and evaluate your options and not just the first thing that pops to mind.  This level of patience is difficult to teach and coach if everything around it is geared toward immediacy.

Slowing down takes a level of effort and mindfulness that is essential for good decision making.

Now, I’m not saying to procrastinate or not take action, but looking at your challenge from all angles allows you to breath and de-stress the situation while you’re evaluating which often leads to a more thoughtful outcome.

Secondly it is imperative while considering your long-term career objectives and goals.  For the most part these can’t be rushed or on your perfect timeline.

No matter how smart we are when we graduate, we’re not going to be given a c-suite role in our first job unless we create our own company.

This is where patience is key!

Mapping out a path to succeed in whatever you want in life takes planning and thought plus a good dose of patience as there are generally many steps on the path to attain your ambitions.

Gaining experience as you go is an important aspect on your way, as it helps provide opportunities to learn and grow in ways that perhaps you didn’t first expect but in the long term aid your goals.

A part of this process is learning to fail and learning from the experience.

Often our best teachers are when we fail at something as it sharpens our minds to know what we need to do differently next time we’re faced with a similar situation.

Another important dimension is in the form of our personal relationships.

It takes time and effort to build and nurture strong and healthy relationships.  Sometimes these relationships are forged under prolonged adversity, other times during a shared experience but the common denominator is time.

Relationship development can’t be rushed.

Take a moment to reflect on your best relationships.

Part and parcel of our relationships is learning to be comfortable with each other’s collective foibles and being okay with that.

All relationships are a two-way street, but it’s something that definitely takes time to nurture and develop but ultimately lead to satisfying and enduring friendships.

The other dimension to relationships is conflict resolution.

Whether it’s with your spouse, loved ones, friends or work colleagues’ patience enables us the space to listen, understand other perspectives thus allowing us an opportunity to empathise.

Again, patience is all about slowing down, listening and taking onboard other views and perspectives.

Finally, and I know I sort of touched on this at the beginning, but patience is an important component of stress management.

When we take the time to let a situation wash over us and sink in, we can develop new perspectives that can help us cope.

Being caught up in the moment, then responding immediately is often not a good idea.

Taking the time to sleep on it or put it aside for a little time to let it really sink in before acting is often the best course to take.

How many times has an immediate reaction that you’ve had to a situation been, in retrospect a poor choice.

I know from personal experience there were many times that I’ve made this mistake…

However, over time I’ve come to accept the best course of action is to let it ruminate and flow over me.  And on my occasions sleeping on it before charting a course of action or responding.

This form of patience is priceless!

Until next week.

Ciao.