Taking control…

Taking control often starts with a conversation in your head.

Trust me we’ve all been there…working 60 plus hours a week for weeks on end until you’re completely exhausted, and with little end in sight. Is this the life you really wanted?

We also often hear, “you have to live everyday as though it’s your last”, but with no action behind it. Not sure about you, but I don’t want to be working on my last day…and I definitely don’t want to wait until that elusive retirement day… if there is such a thing anymore.

No, I want to live today!

So, if you’re looking to recharge, refresh and revitalize or perhaps take a breath to get a different perspective on life its time you stepped back and decided to take control.

There are lot of people out there in the same boat – who are fed up the daily grind of non-stop work and the deeply rooted feelings that they aren’t really living life as they’d perhaps imagined. This sense of just going through the motions just to pay the bills but never get ahead is a common theme.

Such a distressing and debilitating feeling – trust me we’ve all been there…

I found it almost impossible to get out of the deep funk that my mind was mired in because no matter how much I tried I couldn’t see a way out.

All I can say is that it took a lot of emotional digging to figure a way out, and by no means was it a simple or quick process but arguably it gets easier once you’ve figured out a plan.  The tough part is that many of us give up before we put a tangible plan in place and so sink back into the abyss of unhappiness and frustration.

The catalyst for change during my consulting career was my kids…   After seven years of non-stop traveling for work and always being the absent parent, I just couldn’t do it anymore – not to them nor me.

Here are three things that I learned along the way that enabled me to break free.

Indelible tip #1:  Re-prioritized.   Feeling like I was constantly letting my kids down, by always being away from them ate away at me and no matter how much I tried to ignore it.  I found it impossible to shake the deep feelings of guilt that were ever present.   So, what to do?

I decided to consciously make them my priority, and everything else that got in the way of my time with them I would move or excuse myself, including when it came to my job.  I realized that to make a real and permanent change I couldn’t compromise or give an inch on what my priorities had become.

When I began to say no, people accepted my choices and I rarely felt at odds or compromised, however the first step was toughest.

Indelible tip #2:  Simplification.  At the same time that I was re-prioritizing I also decided to de-clutter my life in as many ways as possible, “to clear the decks” if you will and so I began evaluating every aspect of my life.  This included everything from my disintegrating marriage, to reshaping my career so I could work closer to home and be the parent I always wanted to be for Zach and Sam.

I simplified as many things as I could while keeping flexibility in my life which became the catch cry of my life and one of the most important learning’s from this process. I realized that without flexibility you’re stuck!

To do this, I decided to leave my permanent job and create Indelible Adventures back in 2014.   I continued consulting but on an independent basis.  When I needed time off, I took it without guilt, if I needed to take a break I took it, again guilt free.  I was in control of my destiny and so began a career of working on my terms.

Taking control can be scary, but so can staying mired in your daily grind without an end in sight.

It took me a year to settle into my new way of thinking and living but the freedom and sense of ownership and accountability was life changing.

Indelible tip #3:  Taking action.  At the heart of real change is action.  I hear lots of people talk about change but see very little action backing up their words.  What I found was that change is a journey NOT a destination, and to a large degree incremental depending on the time and what you know to be true at the time and place you’re at.

So, there is no question that you also have to go with your gut and take risks, clearly, it has to be calculated but once you’ve set your sights on the objective steel yourself and go for it.

There will always be times on your journey that you’ll second guess yourself, or have naysayers trying to convince you that what you’re doing is not feasible or indeed wrong…

Don’t be constrained by what others think – few people really want others to be successful and achieve their dreams, especially if they are struggling personally with where they are.

My advice is to surround yourself with like-minded people that support you and your decisions.   They also can help by providing counsel and more importantly help you celebrate your successes.

Taking control is a courageous act that few actually do, so be the anomaly and chart a path to living life on your terms!

Staying the course is about perseverance and believing in yourself.

And as we all know that spark can only come from within!

Until next week.

Ciao!