Positivity…

I’m a big believer in a living my best life powered by a positive mindset.  This sense of positivity enables me to utilize my imagination and creativity in almost any situation, but also to see past the immediate.

I acknowledge that not all situations are created equal.  And yes, sometimes you’re dealt a crappy hand, but that doesn’t stop you from endeavouring to look at it through a positive lens.

Even in the most trying of situations there are lessons to be gleaned… 

What if the next time you were annoyed or angry you stopped for a moment and reflected on the “why do I feel this way”?

Then try and reframe the negativity coursing through your body at that very moment and look for a positive within that situation.

In my past I would often let a negative moment derail my day.

I finally had the epiphany that in most situations what was before me was actually neutral, but that I was viewing it in a way that drew me down a path of negativity and frustration.  It was my spin that was driving my angst.

Momentary reframing helped me stop this pattern of thinking and re-centered the way I took on board the situation through a positive lens.

The good and the bad with this is that it’s not a one-time thing…

Nope, it’s a commitment to a lifelong approach, because complacency and short-term memory make it too easy to fall back into bad habits.

This also coincided with me finally understanding that you’re the only one that can control how you feel.

I’m sure you’re asking yourself why did it take me so long to have these two realizations?

Partly because of the way my brain had been programmed starting as a young child.  As children we’re naturally emotion driven and therefore fall into acting out with what’s at the forefront of your mind.

It takes a level of maturity to be able to step back from the emotions and begin to look at life and situations for what they are.

Secondly, the parents of my generation enforced a number of edicts that drove the way we thought and reacted to life around us.

The first of these was “children should be seen and not heard”, thus taking away the ability for us, as children to voice our thoughts.  How can you grow in this situation when you’re tightly held to a series of norms that are so restrictive?

Having a voice and the avenue for self-expressing is critical in childhood. 

Another was that “it’s weak to show any form of emotions”.  As an example, if you yelled or screamed in frustration you were quickly told to be quiet in no uncertain terms.  This show of emotions was totally unacceptable.

Most likely as it would embarrass your parents and seem unruly by its very nature.

If you cried for any reason, particularly as a boy you were categorized as “weak” and suffered the scorn and embarrassment from those around you…

It didn’t take long to learn to keep your emotions in check and bottled up inside, which is as we now know so unhealthy.

My, how far we’ve come in the way we look at our children and the way we now nurture their emotional state.

We can’t blame our parents for this situation.

They were only able to parent in a way that was considered normal for that time, which in many cases was the way they had been parented.

Years of self-reflection and counselling helped me understand why I was the way I was.

This understanding and ongoing realizations changed the way I viewed and interacted with the world around me.

Personal growth coupled with the power to lead with positivity changed the game.

Clearly, it took me sometime to have this realization and begin harnessing my positivity. 

Consistency and time played a huge part but have really drive a change in mindset that has such an incredible influence on my life.

The next realization I had was that I’d come to a point in my life where I let go other people’s expectations of me.

Forgoing the angst and weight of what other people thought of me and the life I’ve created fit perfectly with my positivity mindset.

No longer was I going to let others influence the way I thought about myself or my choices in life.

I was done!

So how did that translate into the everyday you ask?

It empowered me with the emotional freedom of be able to become my authentic self.  I didn’t need a facade or the image of a perfect me to be accepted, I didn’t care anymore.

I was enough, just the way I was!  ❤️

If you’ve been on this journey of self-realization, then you’ll understand the sense of freedom that comes with it.

What this does is turns you into a pragmatist.  Your clarity of thought and action become the cornerstone of who you really are.

It’s important to remember that you, and you alone control the way you see and interact with the world around you.  And more importantly it’s only you that can change it.

If any of this week’s essay resonated with you, it’s time to reflect…

Until next week

Ciao!