No matter how much we’d like it, life is never a straight line. Often it is impossible to see or predict how our life’s journey’s will reveal itself, but inevitably it always does over time.
A great example is my life in that my childhood was mired in poverty, and literally a million miles from where my life has taken me and indeed is today. It feels almost implausible that coming from that start in life has enabled me to create a far different trajectory than what was most likely expected by those around me.
As I’ve written many times, I believe that “where you begin, does not dictate how it turns out”, and truly think that a tough start in life is actually a good thing as it conditions you to challenges and hurdles that many do not face until later in life. We all know how cruel children can be, but being considered the lowest of the low by your peers brings about the feelings of shame and unworthiness that have lingered all my life.
It definitely made me hungry to prove everyone wrong…
Straight lines were never going to be a part of my journey primarily because I have never tied myself my ego up in terms of a job or specific type of life other than wanting to explore everything I can. If you take a step back and look all the things I’ve done in my life you can see that it is by no means scripted or lived in a straight line.
Perhaps it’s my natural curiosity that has dictated my winding path to where I am today. Curiosity is one of my most valued capabilities along with keeping a positive mindset. For me curiosity and adventure go hand-in-hand with living outside the straight lines of the average life.
I was fortunate to learn some very important lessons from my dad who struggled his whole life on minimum wage doing jobs that no one else wanted to do. Whether as a farm worker, truck driver, factory worker, and then later as a council worker picking up garbage or filling holes in roads he never complained or considered it beneath him to do whatever was required.
But I also saw the lesson of him living in a straight line and not being able to adjust his mindset beyond that. There were many reasons for this – firstly ensuring there was food on the table for his family, but later in life when these responsibilities had dissipated, he was clear he was set in his ways and wasn’t able to move beyond the life he had created.
I knew that life was not for me!
I’m also a big believer in the idea that things happen for a reason – good and bad. Whether it’s something we have to learn or experience or perhaps just setting us up for the next thing all contribute to adjusting to what is in front of us and going with the flow.
I have been labelled a “jack of all trades, master of none” on more than one occasion and have often relied on my ability to be a quick learner and observer. Mimicking and learning as you go are also important qualities that have enabled me to a life without a straight line.
I take this as a badge of honour to be honest, even if it was meant as a passive – aggressive slight. I mean who wants to be stuck in the same routine or pigeon holed into the same job for life. Certainly not me! I’d rather be open to new possibilities and seeing where things take me versus being stuck.
Change and ambiguity force us to explore feelings, thoughts and have experiences that are often too confronting or uncomfortable to be immersed in. This mindset is indicative of a rigidity that I shed long ago – in my mind living in this space can be exciting if you’re open and accepting of the situation.
Holding onto a specific mindset without compromise is confining and I’d say somewhat detrimental to your long-term health. I realize that not everyone is built like me, and that many people need to live within their comfort zones to hold it together and get through the day as change and ambiguity don’t sit well with them.
Sometimes straight lines are exactly what a person needs to function… other times living in a straight line inhibits their ability to live a full and complete life.
Why take a moment to reflect on your life and whether you prefer a straight line or something other? What moments in your life best reflect living outside the lines? What emotions do these moments stir within you?
A big part of being a writer is to provoke your thoughts, feelings and emotions. Challenging your mindset and thinking is paramount to seeing a different point of view about a subject, then reflecting on how this impacts and sits with you and your values.
We aren’t all built in the same way, so you may discard this essay, but I would challenge you to look deep within yourself to understand if you’re comfortable with change, ambiguity and living outside the lines. You might be surprised with your findings and conclusions…
Until next week
Ciao!
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