Most of our stress in life comes from things that we cannot control.  Take a moment think about the focus of your current stress, now evaluate (honestly) whether you actually can control the situation or outcome.   I’m going to bet that for the most part these stressors are beyond our control.

I realize that it’s easier said than done, but to mitigate these moments in our life we need to find a way to just let them go.  I saw an interesting reel recently that summed it up perfectly.

Tom Hanks was talking to a man on death row and told him that he was to be executed by the electric chair to which the other actor looked at him and said okay…

Hanks was flabbergasted.  You don’t seem worried he said, to which the other actor said – “would it help if I did?”.

Precisely!

The ability to let things go and free yourself takes a level of maturity and wherewithal that many of us struggle to achieve.  Often times it’s a day-to-day proposition to free yourself of the things that are stressing you, and by the way I’m not saying take no action (the parts that you can control) or forget about these things completely.

It’s more about freeing your mind of the burden and moving on without getting caught up in the drama of the moment.

I also realize that your ability to get into this mindset is somewhat situational, and to be honest it sometimes can be a culmination of many small things that overload your mind and begin to gnaw away at your psyche and before you know you’re gripped by overwhelming anxiety.

We’ve all been there, particularly when I was younger when I didn’t have the experience in life to understand the difference between the things I could control and the things I couldn’t.  Worry about the things you can’t control induces stress and anxiety.

Stress and anxiety impact all aspects of our health and wellbeing.  This is particularly true if you’re mired in stress for long periods of time.  Perhaps it’s your job, finances (a big one) or relationship and family stress but no matter which one it is it can be debilitating to the point of mental and emotional collapse.

Like with many things in life it comes back to mindset and being able to recognize when we’re in this state of stress and evaluate whether it is something I can or can’t control.

Okay, so let’s say for argument’s sake that you can recognize that it’s something that you can’t control – what now?   You’re still stressed…

Now it comes down to developing the right coping mechanisms when you’re in this state of recognition.

So, to recap you recognize that the situation is beyond your control.  A great place to start is by focusing on the present moment, where you are and how you’re feeling.  Many of us would rather binge-watch Netflix or scroll through endless reels to numb the stress versus look for other more practical options that focus on fully understanding what you have before you.

One way that I’ve found to ground myself when faced with situations like this is find a quiet spot, close my eyes and breathe.  Now, you may be thinking that this sounds a big airy-fairy but it’s more about finding the right things that work for you.

I also like to lie on my yoga mat (a comfortable spot on the floor) to do my breathing but the most important aspect is finding a comfortable position whether it be sitting or lying down.

  1. Sit or lie down in a comfortable position.
  2. Put both hands on your belly and close your eyes.
  3. Slowly breathe in through your nose as much as you can.
  4. As you breathe in, fill your belly with air.
  5. Slowly breathe out through your mouth.
  6. Letting your belly release all the air until it becomes flat.
  7. Continue breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth while you focus on the motion of your belly rising and falling.

You can use this technique every time you feel your stress levels rising when thinking about a situation you feel the urge to control that you recognize as something you can’t.  As part of my breathing exercises, I also try and free my mind of any thoughts, sometimes using the Insight Timer app on my phone and positioning it behind my head.  I use the free app and select the Timer – adding music and chimes to support my meditation.

I’ve personally found that using a 20-minute timer works best for me.  Try it to find what works best for you.

This is a conscious action on my behalf, as I imagine that my mind is being washed clean and that there are no thoughts clouding my view.  Sometimes when I do this exercise I can fall into a state of almost semi-sleep.

Another thing that works for me is writing as it allows me to focus on something other than what is pressing on mind at any given time.

We all have too much stress in our lives, recognizing the stressors that you can and can’t control and acting accordingly is an important step in your well-being.

Until next week.

Ciao!

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