Backstory…

We all have a backstory… as generally we’re the central player in our own movie.

And as you know everybody needs a backstory to provide context and color to the central character in your movie.

And whether the actual backstory is good, bad, or indifferent we often find ourselves creating something a little different for public consumption than pure facts.

It’s an interpretation through the lens of what you want others to think.

From own personal experience I can tell you that when I moved to Canada, I found myself in what I thought to be a unique position, in that no one knew who I was…

Therefore, I was able to create a backstory that was more aligned with who I was or who I wanted to be.

No longer confined by my Australian roots I was open to a new beginning and thus a new backstory.

Clearly, it wasn’t far from the truth but admittedly a little more worldly and open than perhaps if I had remained in Australia.

For all of us, there are parts of our backstory best left unsaid…

Interestingly, not always because people may judge you differently, but because they were traumatic and therefore live on the edge of your consciousness.

Few people want to hear all the details, even for your friends the real and full extent of your backstory can be a burden.  And even if they don’t judge you, it opens you up and makes extremely vulnerable.

Which is ultimately a scary place to be.

I think we all are guilty of creating our own personal backstory that is part truth, part wishful thinking and part fiction.  Plus, we always keep a little back just for ourselves.

One of my favourite quotes is by Mark Twain when he said “Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t.”

A great example for me is Grandfather Conolly and although I never actually met him as he passed away before I was born, he was always a larger than life character!

Over the years I was able to fill in the gaps between the stories my mum told me and his actual life story.  You could say he was part truth, part fiction, but always entertaining…

We all have someone in our family with a larger-than-life persona.

Have you ever stopped to wonder why?

Perhaps it’s because they have convinced you that this is who they actually are through their stories and anecdotes.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that, in fact far from it.

I love larger than life characters and listening to their adventures, and heck I may be a bit like that myself.

Being able to fill in all the blank bits with a little fiction or exaggerated facts is the essence of a good backstory.

I’d have to say that most of us are a little guilty of this, but it brings added colour and context to who we are, thus making us far more interesting than we perhaps perceive ourselves to be.

For most of us the best backstories are when you slowly begin to piece together who the person is in your mind.

Building these images with small vignettes and the motivation behind the stories adds color and allows your imagination to do the rest…

Nothing worse than when you hear the entire backstory in one go!

Best to slowly feed titbits over an extended period of time, thus introducing both a little mystery and illusion into the mix…

Many of us wouldn’t fabricate something unless there was a inkling of truth to it, but rather embellish it a little to enhance the story or introduce a new motivation or dynamic to the story.

Using your artistic license to add a little spice goes a long way when creating your backstory.

Writers do this all the time, me included.

Another of my favourite quotes is from Octavia E. Butler who was a pioneer in science fiction – “Every story I create, creates me.  I write to create myself”.

If you were to rewrite your backstory, what would you add to your story?

I know my life has had many ups and downs, peaks and valleys, but I’ve never lost sight of my dream nor the person I always wanted to become.

Often, we get caught up in the details and sometimes struggle to get past the challenges that life throws our way.  These are the moments that you might think define us, but they don’t.

Your resilience and willingness to face adversity and challenge yourself can’t be taken away.  This is the foundation of your backstory.

The one big lesson I’ve learned personally is that one bad chapter does not define your story or who you really are.

There are no guide books to living your best life, only you can define what this means to you personally and your subsequent backstory.

At the end of the day, your values, passion, drive, and stick-to-itiveness make the difference.

And the beauty of defining your backstory is that it starts and ends with you.

No-one defines your story except you…

Until next week

Ciao!