As the years pass, we accumulate memories and mementos that provide us with an anchor to the lives we’ve lived.  These fragments of life are generally small in number but meaningful in nature.

If I was to ask you to place these into a shoebox what things would inhabit your box?  Would your memories and mementos provide me with a glimpse into a life well lived, or one of regret and limitation?

Many of us continue to search for the true meaning to our lives, yet for many of us this remains elusive with fleeting moments that give us a glimmer of hope yet often evaporate just as quickly.

For me the most important and enduring memories and mementos in my box would be being a dad to Zach and Sam. For me being a dad has been the most rewarding thing in my life.  I am forever grateful for the opportunity, and along the way learned more about life and myself than I thought possible.

Prior to meeting their mum, I had fully resigned myself to a life of not becoming a parent or raising children.  This tough decision was made after significant reflection about who I was and where I was in my life.  Strangely, I had come to this realization over the course of a solo week-long trip to Aruba.

Initially I had been sad but accepted the facts and began to move on… only to meet my ex three weeks later.  Within two years Zach was born, then another two before Sam came along.  Each of the days they were born I have clearly imprinted on my mind, when I met them for the first time face-to-face.

As you may or may not know I’m an emotional guy with my emotions only just under the surface of my skin, and so, apt to shed a tear rather easily.  A great case in point was at Judy and my wedding in 2022, when Judy, Zach and Sam were discussing our wedding ceremony in advance of the big day, they all laughed as they bet on who would cry first… of course it was me.  Don’t worry I didn’t disappoint!

The ceremony with Judy, Zach (best man) and Sam (maid of honour) is one of my most treasured memories that I now have in my shoebox.  My tears were a sign that this special moment is one of my most special, because I knew I was truly loved.

I know it may not seem important but to me, a boy from a challenging childhood it meant the world…

Now some of you might think that memories and mementos exclude the most important and influential people in your lives.  Far from it, as they are often associated important memories.

Now added to my box other than Zach, Sam and my beautiful wife Judy there would be my sister Glenda and bests friend Craig. Both Glenda and Craig have always there for me and had had been influential in so many ways that it’s hard to put into words.

Although saying that it triggers my memories of meeting Craig in the Uni residence back in first year, and our split-second decision to go grab a burger at 11:00 pm.  That single moment cemented a life-long friendship – check out my recent essay  Apple Isle essay.

Given that my mum and dad have been gone for so long now the best memories I have are associated with photos. The one that best captures them is from my 21st birthday where they seemed so happy, albeit the last one of them before my mum’s health failed.

Another memento is the annual calendar that I make of Zach and Sam over the course of their lives.  It truly has all of the best photos of their childhoods all encapsulated within the pages.

Another item, or should I say items that would be in my shoebox would be my coin collection.  Although not large, it does have a host of coins from my round the world backpacking adventure I took as a younger self whereby the currencies are no longer in circulation.  From Italian Lira notes, and Greek Drachma coins to the German Deutsche Mark it’s a remarkable snapshot of history.

You might think this is a bit nerdy (yep, that’s your outside voice :-), but the reason I have it in my box is that each time I run my fingers through these coins it takes me back to a simpler time, a time of my youth and all of the wonder and optimism I had back in those days.

They also trigger other important memories from that adventure, including where I discovered my deep love of Italy… and the profound impact this trip had on my entire life.

Strange how one memory or memento triggers others and all of the joy those moments bring, and indeed the lifelong influences they’ve had.

I love unpacking my shoebox!   How about you?  What are the important people, memories and mementos in your shoebox?  Have you shared your shoebox with anyone else?

No better time to start than now with a little self-reflection…

Until next week.

Ciao!

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