One of the most important lessons that I’ve learned has been, that to evolve and grow into the life you want you’ve always wanted you must first let go.

Easy peasy on the surface, but let’s do a deeper dive into all of the dimensions that shape and hold you firm where you are.

In order to really “grow” you need to challenge every aspect of your thinking and life.

Clearly not for the faint of heart, but this is where I see the vast majority of people stumbling on their journey.

First we have to agree that there are no sacred cows. What I mean by this is that everything and I mean everything is up for re-evaluation.

It’s impossible to let go but still hold firmly onto assumptions and beliefs that serve you no purpose in your current life.

True, they may have helped provide a support or a crutch during a different time in your life.

Each day is different and the circumstances are constantly evolving so we must challenge our assumptions and beliefs that have served us in the past…

It all begins with re-evaluating self…

How do you define yourself? What gets in the way of being your best self?

One of the biggest challenges for me was letting go of past hurts and wrongs. After all these have dictated the narrative to my life.

Things like – my childhood was crappy, we were poor, my parents were alcoholic, I had a learning disability, I was abused…the list goes on.

So what?

Well, for starters these don’t define you today.

These may have been a crutch or prop to be wheeled out so as to explain your flawed self in the past but what good are they serving you today?

To be clear these are a blocker to your personal growth.

Everyone has a backstory, and yes we’ve all had challenges and issues in our lives. Can you name one person that hasn’t?

Consciously letting go of being the victim can be tough. If you’ve lived your whole life using this to define you then its not going to be easy…

Where to start? I want you to make a list of all the things you use to explain why you are who you are. Take the first things that come to mind – don’t edit your thoughts, just write them down.

Good or bad, don’t place a value judgement on them.

Even things like – “I’m no good at sports because my parents wouldn’t let me play sports as a kid”, “I work out every day therefore I’m healthy”, “we grew up poor so that’s why I’m frugal”…

Each is a cloak that you place around yourself to define who you are. You use them to help explain why you’re the way you are. Mostly to yourself.

What other assumptions do you have about who you are and what you can do?

Some people define themselves by their job. This equally doesn’t serve any real purpose today except limiting you to this narrow definition of yourself.

What happens if tomorrow you lose your job? Does everything go out the window?

How will you define yourself then?

It’s time to start again…

Hi, I’m Terence and I’m recovering assumptionist and purveyor of past ills. 🙂

No seriously!

We can all put life on hold by using the myriad of excuses that we have in our narrative. Or we can choose to abandon these assumptions and judgements and seek out our best self.

Just like in the Alchemist when Santiago finally understands that his personal legend was always within him but he needed to make the journey of self discovery for it to come to life.

So too can you, but first you must let go.

Surrender your thinking and the old ways of defining yourself. Surrender your assumptions about the life you live without self judgement.

Step back and imagine the possibilities if you could start again.

Forge a new perspective, one full of hope and optimism that isn’t constrained by history or old and outdated thinking.

It’s time to challenge all of your assumptions about who you are and what you want in life.

We all have choices….we can either sit and wait for the “perfect moment” to change our lives or we can dive in, let go and begin the journey of creating the life you’ve always dreamed about.

The fork in the road is real but you choose if and when you want to take the path less travelled.

Creating the life you’ve always wanted is up to you. Do you have to courage to begin your journey.

The celebrated author George Bernard Shaw wrote “life isn’t about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself”.

If you’ve enjoyed this essay, please come check out my latest podcast series on Podbean or iHeart Radio.

Until next week!